


When Spring Meets Death

by thatstarlitsky



Series: How the Stars Came to Be [2]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Before Hakyeon Became N, College, Fluff, Goths, Hakyeon isn't got but Leo is, M/M, Romance, Roommates, Slice of Life, so much fluff...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-08-16 10:50:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8099335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatstarlitsky/pseuds/thatstarlitsky
Summary: Roommates were hard enough. Even worse were roommates that looked like demons that had clawed their way up from Hell.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Part two of How the Stars Came to Be!
> 
> Some context info: This story doesn't pick up where Cupid's Poison left off. It is a separate and unique story that starts from the day N and Leo met (And they just so happened to meet as roommates in college~)

The last box thudded into the middle of Hakyeon’s bedroom carpet with a finality that had him exhaling in relief. He was sorely tempted to push his mattress off the wall and onto the floor to nap on it, bedframe be damned, but such a rest wouldn’t last long. Hakyeon was never one to relax when so much work still remained.

He’d already said farewell to his parents on the front porch of the townhouse he now called home. It was a two-bedroomed, three floored, skinny house with just enough room for two – three or four if the inhabitants squeezed and turned the storage space beneath the stairs on the ground floor into a third bedroom. Hakyeon found it quant, cozy and homey – and it was located in a safe neighbourhood only a twenty minute bus ride away from his school.

Grabbing the first box and pulling it towards himself, he peeled the tape off and pulled the flaps aside. He didn’t bring very much with him – just the bare essentials. Clothes were hung up in the closet, books were stacked on his shelf, and pencils and paper were dropped into the drawers of his desk. Finally, he manhandled his mattress onto the frame before making his bed with the new violet sheets he’d bought under his parents’ noses. He smoothed the sheets out neatly and tossed his mismatched pillows haphazardly at the head of the bed, planning on sorting them out when he finally slept that night.

Settling down on the floor once more, Hakyeon tugged a small, unmarked box towards himself, grabbing his keys to break the tape. It wasn’t very large, perhaps just a little smaller than a box an action figure or a doll would come in. Hakyeon carefully peeled it open and slid out the stiff foam, gently undoing the twist ties before plucking the colourful figurine from its packaging. Rising to his feet again, he set the fairy statue on the top of his bookshelf, turning her so her violet and pink butterfly wings caught the light just right. She was seated among the petals of a pink lotus flower, her body delicate and her face serene.

It wasn’t the only one Hakyeon had brought with him. Two more went up onto the shelf in the same fashion – one with golden hair and a white dress, her wings like a dragonfly as she used a sunflower as an umbrella, and the other a black haired, mayfly winged fairy in a blue dress dancing above a pond of koi fish. He’d never had them on display before, though he’d had the violet one for several years. His parents disliked the idea of him having such things. Hakyeon blamed their conservatism. To them, fairies were feminine, and since Hakyeon was a boy he should’ve been playing with action figures and toy cars – not searching for fairies among the flowers in his backyard.

Stuffing the now empty boxes into the back of his closet, Hakyeon flopped heavily onto his violet bed sheets with a smile on his face. Back at home, they had been a muddy brown colour with a hideous checkerboard pattern. Hakyeon had only brought the horrendous sheets with him to hide his chosen purple ones from sight. It was relieving, really. As scared as he had been to move out of the house on his own for the first time, Hakyeon was revelling in the freedom. He could express himself the way he wanted to now that his parents weren’t in the next room.

But his roommate was. Hakyeon didn’t know much about him. When he’d questioned his landlord, he’d only received a name: Taekwoon. He’d already been living there for a year, attending the local college. The landlord assured Hakyeon he was no trouble at all – in fact the tenant who was previously in Hakyeon’s room had been a far worse issue, and he’d only sublet the room for the summer. But despite the fact that he was no trouble, would he judge Hakyeon for his love of fairies? He supposed he had no reason to be concerned about it. After all, the bedroom was all Hakyeon’s – his roommate couldn’t come in without permission.

He must’ve dozed off because when he woke again, his stomach was rumbling despite a large lunch. Letting out a soft sigh, Hakyeon rolled off his bed and fixed the cowlick on the back of his head before unlocking his bedroom door and tugging it open. The house was just as quiet as it had been when he arrived. He cast a glance towards the door on the opposite side of the hallway, knowing that was the room that hid his roommate from sight. Curiously, he tilted his head to the side, trying to listen for any sounds of movement behind the door, but he heard nothing. Hakyeon didn’t know whether it was a blessing or not. He wanted to get introductions out of the way, but he was also rather concerned his roommate would be of the distasteful sort. If he was the latter, Hakyeon wanted to stay as far away as he could for as long as he could.

The shared kitchen was graciously spotless. The one back at his house was often cluttered with nonsense, or his brother had left a smear of peanut butter and toast crumbs from his midnight snack. It didn’t take him long to dig out a kettle, plucking a cup of instant noodles from the cupboard he’d set up with his parents earlier that day. He was too tired to try to cook anything more complex, and his parents had only brought him non-perishables. He’d probably have to grocery shop tomorrow for vegetables so he could at least make an effort to eat healthy.

The kettle was just beginning to steam when Hakyeon heard the distinct sound of the front door opening and clattering shut. His knees tensed unconsciously, ready to bolt at the drop of a hat. He kept a white knuckle grip on his chopsticks as he waited for the moment the stranger would enter the room, but also wondering if they would simply bypass the kitchen and head upstairs. It was an unusual feeling for Hakyeon – he’d always been eager to introduce himself to new people, but now he just wanted to fade into the kitchen cupboards like a chameleon and never be seen.

The stranger stepped into the kitchen, two grocery bags in hand. He stopped in his tracks when he saw he wasn’t alone and Hakyeon had to resist the urge to scream. His hair was long and slightly wavy, falling down nearly to his shoulders. Several piercing glittered in his ears, and his dark eyes were made even more intense by the eyeliner expertly applied in a way that made him look at though he was peering from shadows. His clothes looked straight out of gang drama – black and intimidating. There were zippers where they didn’t need to be on the pants and his sleeveless shirt did nothing to hide his thick arm muscles.

The stranger moved first, dipping his head in a bow. His hair fluttered about his cheeks as he rose up straight once more.

“I am Taekwoon,” he said, his voice surprisingly soft for his appearance. “You are...Hakyeon?”

Numbly, Hakyeon just nodded his head, suddenly becoming aware of the sound of the boiling kettle. Though it was the last thing he wanted to do, he turned his back on his roommate and poured the water into the noodle cup. He could hear the sound of the fridge opening and the rustling of the grocery bags. He didn’t bother waiting around once his cup was full, instead setting the kettle aside and heading for the stairs, perhaps a little too quickly considering he was carrying a noodle cup filled with hot water.

Hakyeon only relaxed when he closed the door to his bedroom and locked it. Of all of the hopes he’d had about his roommate, only his fears seemed to be confirmed. He was rooming with some freaky gangster.

His fingers trembled as he ate the noodles, the spicy taste doing very little to distract him from the fact that he had to live with someone who looked like trouble. It certainly explained why his landlord hadn’t said much else aside from his name when Hakyeon had signed the lease. He was starting to think he’d been lied to.

Quietly eyeing the blank screen his phone, Hakyeon considered calling his parents and getting them to deal with the situation. He knew without a doubt that they’d move him out of the house if they knew who he was rooming with. The issue was he’d just gotten comfortable, not to mention they’d see his fairy statues and purple blankets. Even more urgent was the fact that school started in just over a week, and that was nowhere near enough time to find a new apartment, not to mention he’d already signed the lease. He would have to deal with his new situation, even if it was far from being ideal.

He couldn’t help but let out a wavering whine at that, pressing his forehead against his desk.

 

...

 

Over the next few days, Hakyeon did everything in his power to stay as far away from Taekwoon as possible. Avoiding him proved to be rather easy, and yet excruciatingly difficult. Hakyeon confined himself to his lonely room, playing music through his headphones while he danced away his boredom. There wasn’t much to do in his bedroom besides sit on his computer or read books, and Hakyeon was usually far too energetic to do either.

Though he fully intended to grocery shop, he learned within days that Taekwoon frequented the kitchen, his long hair tied back in a messy ponytail at the back of his head, bangs caught by several pins to keep them out of the way. The sound of cooking food always accompanied Taekwoon’s presence in the kitchen, and though Hakyeon would loathe admitting it, the food often smelled delightful. If Taekwoon didn’t look like a demon from the seventh pit of hell, he might’ve even approached him to ask for a few bites. Instead, Hakyeon stuck to foods he could prepare quickly, but he was running out fast. Hakyeon always had an appetite since he was so active, and instant noodles and peanut butter on toast were simply not doing it for him.

By the fifth day and the start of the weekend before he had to return to school, Hakyeon resolved himself to step out of his room once more to buy groceries. He told himself he lived here too, and there was no reason why he should confine himself to his bedroom. He was still afraid though—afraid of interacting with his roommate, regardless of the circumstance. Maybe he was being irrationally difficult, but uncomfortable situations like this one often left him in such a state.

Luckily, Taekwoon was tucked behind his bedroom door when Hakyeon left the house to walk the two blocks to the grocery store. He knew his roommate had been awake and present, as he’d heard the sound of music creeping from under the door. It was playing quietly, the heavy rhythm similar to EDM slipping easily through the cracks in the door. The melody was lost in the lack of volume, making it impossible to distinguish the song. Hakyeon was familiar with most genres of dance music, but he couldn’t quite place the sounds slipping out of Taekwoon’s room. For all he knew it might not have been EDM at all – it could’ve been something completely different. Hakyeon wasn’t about to be pressing his ear against the door to find out.

Since he was only feeding himself, he didn’t need more than two bags worth of groceries. Even so, caught up in the excitement of his first grocery shop, he went overboard a little, buying unnecessary snacks to go along with a few vegetables. He tried to tell himself no more instant noodles, but he ended up throwing several of them into his cart along the way, telling himself they would be a ‘last resort’. Knowing him though, they would be used for days when he was just too lazy to do any serious cooking – if he ever did any at all. He wouldn’t even know where to begin when it came to cooking. Baking, however...he was good at baking.

Sighing and holding his four grocery bags, Hakyeon unlocked the front door and pushed his way inside. He was met with the sound and smell of cooking, making his blood run cold. Taekwoon was in the kitchen – which is exactly where Hakyeon had to go next. Paralyzed, he stood like a cornered animal, trying not to just drop his groceries and hide until Taekwoon left again. He let out a silent groan before he hesitantly toed off his shoes and stepped over the threshold. He silently hoped the sound of cooking had blocked out the sound of the front door closing and he could slip by the doorway and up the stairs. If Hakyeon hadn’t had perishables in his bags, he might’ve done exactly that.

Taking a breath, Hakyeon peeked around the corner and into the kitchen. Taekwoon had his back to him, clothed in black though not in the wild way he had been in their first encounter – he usually wore a faded black t-shirt and dark baggy track pants when he was cooking. His hair was tied back in that now familiar ponytail as he stirred something that smelled rather delectable in the pan in front of him. Hakyeon felt his stomach gurgle, reminding him of the fact that he hadn’t had anything tastier than instant noodles for the last week. Taekwoon’s cooking smelled like heaven compared to that, and the snacks he’d bought at the store now seemed woefully inadequate. He found himself regretting not making an attempt to pay more attention when his mother offered to teach him to cook.

Realizing he wasn’t getting anywhere by standing and staring, Hakyeon took a breath and reminded himself that this was his house too. He had all rights to enter the kitchen, even if interaction wasn’t what he particularly wanted. Before he could second guess himself, Hakyeon marched into the kitchen. He sensed more than saw Taekwoon’s head turn towards him as he pulled the fridge open. He paused for a moment, surprised to find one side of the fridge completely void of anything. Taekwoon had left fridge space for him – somehow, it wasn’t what he expected. Pulling his food out of the bags, Hakyeon tried to put everything away as quickly and efficiently as possible, trying to minimize the chances that Taekwoon would try to talk to him first.

If Taekwoon wanted to talk, he gave no sign of it, simply finishing up his cooking and placing everything rather delicately onto one of the ghastly fruit patterned plates that were stacked in the cupboard. He set the pan on one of the back burners before plucking a pair of chopsticks and a spoon from the cutlery drawer. Crouched near the floor, it was impossible to know what it was Taekwoon had cooked, but his roommate didn’t spare him a single glance as he swept from the room with his meal in hand, the distant sound of his feet hitting the creaky stairs the only sign that he’d gone.

Hakyeon swallowed thickly and finished putting away the perishable groceries, rising to his feet to stuff the snacks into his cupboard. He had to remind himself that he would be a hypocrite if he felt angry at the fact that he was ignored. He still felt ill though. They could co-exist in the townhouse for as long as they both remained, but it would be uncomfortable. Hakyeon wasn’t too fond of that, but his stomach still twisted with unease at the thought of approaching Taekwoon.

No longer feeling motivated enough to cook, Hakyeon pulled open one of the snack boxes and plucked a package out of it. For the sake of at least trying to be healthy, he grabbed an apple and a banana milk from inside the fridge. He retreated quietly up the stairs, casting a glance at Taekwoon’s bedroom door. The music was playing again, a little louder than it had been last time. Hakyeon picked up the distinct sound of a heavy rock-style genre with electronic undertones. The main vocalist was female, her voice haunting and rather ethereal for the music style. It was an interesting combination, and Hakyeon kind of wished he _was_ on speaking terms with Taekwoon so he could ask what the music was so he could listen on his own time.

 _Maybe someday,_ Hakyeon thought to himself with a quiet sigh as he closed his bedroom door behind him, blocking out the sounds of the music. Maybe when he was more settled in he’d take the time to approach Taekwoon with the intention of at least getting to know a little about him. Maybe Hakyeon could stop flinching every time he made eye contact with those heavily lined eyes and stop his heart from racing with fear at how horrifyingly _different_ Taekwoon was from everyone else he’d ever met.

Or maybe he would simply sit up in his room and spend the rest of his time in the townhouse avoiding Taekwoon as much as possible. He sighed a little at that, combing a hand through his hair as he slumped at his desk, realizing that was most likely how the situation would work out. He’d approach Taekwoon when pigs flew on giant fairy wings.

 

...

 

The start of Hakyeon’s first year of business school was ushered in with a late round of summer heat. Despite the fact that it was September, temperatures pushed Hakyeon into shorts and what he expected was ten inches of sunscreen. In truth, Hakyeon disliked summer, especially the summer sun. Considering his skin was a significantly darker shade than the ideal porcelain pale, perhaps some might find that trait surprising about him. In Western countries, Hakyeon had a feeling people would assume he tanned on a regular basis, which was far from the truth – he’d simply been born that way.

Though Hakyeon had an iron hard pride in his skin tone, several years of bullying had also taken its toll. He was petrified to get any darker, lest the teasing grow even worse. Hakyeon never left the house on hot summer days when the sun was high in the sky, preferring to venture out when the stars were twinkling and the night held the sweet coolness of the day’s humidity. The fact that he had to leave the house during the hot days for school had him feeling rather irritable – especially since the sunscreen made his skin feel oily and gross, especially when he’d been sweating.

Much to Hakyeon’s gratitude, the week passed without getting sunburned. The weather was calling for thunderstorms Friday evening, followed by regular fall temperatures and an official end to summer. Hakyeon couldn’t be happier for it, despite the fact that he’d be spending his entire weekend neck deep in homework. At the very least he could throw the windows open and enjoy a hopeful breeze until he chose to take his evening walk.

Though he might’ve wanted to spend the rest of his Friday relaxing, Hakyeon chose to at least make an attempt to start on his assignments while the lessons were still fresh in his memory. With his window cracked a few inches, he heard the soft patter of raindrops falling ahead of the approaching thunderstorm, the rumbling growing ever louder by the minute. He lifted his head from his textbooks to gaze out the window, watching the clouds flash with bright flickers of lightning, a show that always had a way of making his heart race. As a child, he’d been afraid of the loud noises. Now, he could just cover his ears and enjoy what nature had to offer.

A particularly bright flash followed by a loud crash of thunder heralded the sudden darkness in Hakyeon’s bedroom. It took him a moment to realize the power had gone out, making him sigh heavily. He supposed he wasn’t going to be studying that evening after all.

Grabbing his cellphone to use as a flashlight, Hakyeon laid his pencil between the pages of his textbook to mark the spot before pushing it closed, letting the pages flutter shut. The storm continued to rumble as he flopped heavily onto his bed, wondering when the power would return. He could hope it would be soon, but from how wild the storm still was, he didn’t think it would be for at least a few hours. It was okay though – Hakyeon had gone longer without Wi-Fi.

Hakyeon awoke from a bored doze by the sound of a knock. Lifting his head, he eyed his bedroom door accusingly, wondering if he’d been hearing things. When the knock came again, this time a little louder, Hakyeon swallowed thickly. Only one person could be knocking on his bedroom door. His heart thudded in his chest as he rose from his mattress, stepping over to the door. He clicked open the lock and pulled the door carefully, trying not to cringe in horror at the sight of Taekwoon lit up by a candelabra clutched in his hand. His eye makeup was spooky enough as it was without three flickering candle lights making it look even creepier.

“The...power might not be back for a few hours,” Taekwoon said slowly, carefully, as though he were choosing his words in a way so Hakyeon _wouldn’t_ run screaming. “I set up some candles downstairs. Which do you want?”

For a moment, Hakyeon was confused. It took him another moment to notice the two snack sized tubs of ice cream held in Taekwoon’s hand – cookie dough and mint chocolate chip. It was something so normal, so every day held in the hand of the creepiest man Hakyeon had ever met in his life. He almost started to laugh.

“They will melt. I can’t eat both,” Taekwoon said, catching his attention again.

“Ah...” Hakyeon finally managed to get out, wishing his voice didn’t tremble so much. Hesitantly, he reached out and took the small tub of cookie dough ice cream from Taekwoon’s hand. “Thank you...”

Taekwoon just nodded his head and turned his hand to the side slightly, offering one of two spoons held between his fingers. Hakyeon plucked one free, silently contemplating what had just happened. He looked up again in surprise when Taekwoon turned away, making his way back down the stairs, the flickering candle light retreating along with him.

Slowly, Hakyeon closed his bedroom door and looked down at the ice cream in his hand. Taekwoon had offered it freely despite the fact that they certainly weren’t on good terms. Was it possible that Hakyeon could’ve misjudged him? He swallowed thickly before taking a breath and picking up the book he’d been reading in his leisure time. After another moment’s hesitation, he pulled his bedroom door open once more and headed down the stairs.

As promised, Taekwoon had set up a two candelabras on the kitchen table, each holding three tall candles each. They provided just enough light to allow Taekwoon to read from a book lying in front of him. Hakyeon watched him spoon a bite of the slightly melted mint chocolate chip ice cream into his mouth before he finally allowed himself to step into the room. Taekwoon looked up, seeming genuinely surprised to see him, but he didn’t say a word.

Hakyeon sat down across from him, opening his book to lay it on the table. The candles provided just enough light to read despite the flickering quality. Hakyeon found rather quickly that he didn’t hate it. The orange light illuminating the inked pages felt nostalgic in a way.

Hakyeon opened the top of his ice cream, finding it slightly melted, just as Taekwoon’s was. He dipped his spoon into it, deciding to tackle it immediately before it turned into soup. He glanced up at the sound of a page turning, seeing Taekwoon focused on the book in front of him, lost amongst the pages of a world only he could see.

Despite himself, Hakyeon cracked a slight smile before turning to his own book. He read in silence, accompanied by the flickering candle light and the soft presence of a stranger he was now certain wasn’t as bad as he first appeared to be.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear I forgot I had even started uploading this here. My apologies @@  
> It's all up now so read away. Sorry about that

There was a comfort in knowing that Taekwoon was not a demon from hell, let alone a gangster. After the night of the power outage, Hakyeon discovered more and more about his strange roommate through simple observations. In fact, ‘strange’ was beginning to be the most inappropriate word to describe Taekwoon.

Despite his choice of attire, he was positively ordinary. On a particularly long Friday, Hakyeon had come home from school to find his roommate sprawled out on the couch, his smoky eyes closed in sleep as the television ran some kind of cheesy drama. He had to wonder if Taekwoon had been watching a similar show to the one that was playing (there was a rather overly dramatic confession scene involving a teary eyed female and a desperate male determined to prove his love) or if it had been something completely different and he’d simply fallen asleep before his show had ended.

Through the eye makeup and the tousled shoulder length hair, sleeping Taekwoon looked rather adorable from Hakyeon’s perspective, not to mention humbling. He was just as human as Hakyeon was – he just dressed differently, perhaps for his own reasons. It was beginning to kindle his curiosity, an inevitable result of encountering something unlike anything he’d ever seen before.

Now comfortable with his roommate, Hakyeon was talking near constantly, glad to have an ally in this new location. On top of his boundless active energy, Hakyeon thrived off social interactions – and since he was spending most of his time at home with Taekwoon, it was rather common that his roommate would become the target of such things. Hakyeon discovered rather quickly, however, that Taekwoon rarely spoke outside of stating simple facts.

Feeling a little dejected at the lack of responses from his roommate, Hakyeon began to close himself off yet again, wondering quietly to himself if the damage had already been done – that he and Taekwoon could never be friends. It stung a little, honestly. After their quiet night in front of candles during the power outage, Hakyeon truly believed they could be friends. But was Taekwoon even remotely interested? Or had he just offered the ice cream because he needed someone to eat it so it wouldn’t go to waste?

After nearly a week and a half of silence between them, Hakyeon sighed heavily as he returned home from school. The kitchen was empty, but there was a used pan sitting on one of the backburners – which meant Taekwoon was probably home. He never left the house without properly tidying up. Hakyeon’s stomach gurgled. He hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and it was nearly three in the afternoon. He’d had to spend his lunch break studying for a test, not to mention there was simply no time to go out and grab something to eat.

Pulling open the fridge, Hakyeon prepared for a long slog of figuring out just what he should eat. Instead he paused in surprise, seeing a dinner plate on his side of the fridge with enough food on it for one. It was covered in plastic wrap, a small folded paper note perched right on top. Carefully, Hakyeon picked up the note and read it three times, unsure of if he was seeing things or not.

_“Hakyeon,_

_I made too much. Do you want it?”_

Finally turning away from the note, he pulled the plastic wrap off to further inspect the food Taekwoon had prepared. It was Japanese style curry and rice, and it was still slightly warm on the bottom. It hadn’t been prepared long ago – perhaps half an hour at best. Even so, Hakyeon pushed the plate into the microwave as he flipped the paper over, plucking the pen from his pocket.

 _“Yes, thank you.”_ He wrote before gently setting it in the fridge where the plate had been before. His heart fluttered as he closed the fridge once more, the microwave beeping noisily in the silent kitchen. He removed the plate and gingerly touched the bottom to make sure it had heated all the way through before grabbing a set of chopsticks and headed for the stairs. Despite the fact that it was reheated food, the smell of the curry was as strong as ever. Hakyeon couldn’t imagine how good it must’ve smelled when Taekwoon was cooking it.

Settling at his desk, Hakyeon took a breath before taking a bite, nearly moaning at the taste. He’d known from the smell of Taekwoon’s cooking that he was more than likely good at it, but he had never imagined how good. The flavours were rich and perfectly balanced, spicy and savoury all at once. It might’ve been because Hakyeon hadn’t had a home cooked meal in a long time, but he thought to himself that Taekwoon’s curry was better than anything his mother had ever prepared.

Savouring every bite, Hakyeon took his time eating through the plate of curry. He easily cleaned it, feeling far more satisfied than he had in a long time. He wondered how he should thank Taekwoon for his generosity. Perhaps he could bake cookies for him. He smiled to himself at that thought.

 

...

 

Hakyeon had the afternoon off the Thursday after Taekwoon had left the curry for him. On the way home, he stepped into the local grocery store to pick up ingredients for chocolate chip cookies. Taekwoon wouldn’t be home for at least another four hours – Hakyeon was glad for it. It was just enough time for him to prepare the dough, bake the cookies and let them cool on the counter.

Browsing the baking aisle, Hakyeon had to remind himself not to buy too much. It was a difficult feat, considering the store held items he loved to cook with from chocolate powder to candied cherries. He stuck to the essentials of chocolate chip cookies, though he went overboard on the chocolate pieces with no regrets. He knew himself. He’d eat half of the bag before he even put a handful into the dough.

As the cashier rang up his purchases, Hakyeon's eyes found the community bulletin board near the exit. Normally he would've overlooked it as was usual, but a particular flyer caught his eye. It was purple with a bright spotlight illuminating the silhouette of a dancer surrounded by music notes. Picking up his bags, Hakyeon stepped a little closer to read it, his heart skipping a few beats in his chest. Removing his cellphone from his pocket, he took a picture of the flyer, chewing his lip as he read it over a second time.

Back in high school, Hakyeon had a dream – he dreamed of dancing on stage in front of hundreds of cheering fans. He didn't care about what he would sacrifice to become an idol – he would've given anything to be taken into a company and trained to be one of the best dancers Korea would ever see. Hakyeon was confident in his dancing abilities, and nothing ever stopped him from attending every open audition he could find, regardless of the company. Though his parents turned their nose up at the idea of their son being an idol, they never said no when Hakyeon brought them the forms to sign. In the end, he'd never been accepted for reasons he never knew. He supposed his parents foresaw the constant rejection as well - they never looked surprised when Hakyeon came home with tears in his eyes, his body aching from fruitlessly dancing his heart out in front of a panel of judges. It had been over three years since Hakyeon had last tried to audition. The question was...was he willing to put it all out there one more time? To reach for his dreams even if he was probably too old to be trained any longer?

Hakyeon pondered it over as he headed back to the townhouse he called home. It was just as empty as it had been when he left, giving him time to immediately start on the cookies. He focused on the task at hand, using it to clear his mind of the thoughts of the audition so he could approach it at a fresh angle when he finally decided to think it over one last time. He still had over a month to prepare, but sign ups would only be open for another three days. He had to make his decision as soon as he could.

Pushing the first sheet of cookies into the oven, Hakyeon hopped up onto the counter, letting his legs swing off the edge. Setting the timer, he made himself comfortable before pulling up the photo of the flyer once more. He wished there was a simple answer to the question. He'd already started college, and if this audition actually netted him a position as a trainee, his life would change drastically. He might have to drop out of college to dedicate his life to performance and dance, and he had no doubt his parents would be incredibly cross with him – especially considering tuition had already been paid. But on the other hand, if the audition went well, he would finally get to live the dream he'd been holding onto for so long. The small amount of hope was enough to make Hakyeon want to sign up immediately, but he was also afraid. Every other time he'd been rejected – why would this time be any different?

The timer on his phone went off with a pleasant jingle, startling him enough to make him jump slightly. He hadn't realized he'd spaced out for so long. He flicked it off before jumping off the counter, peering into the oven to check on the cookies. Discovering they were perfect, Hakyeon plucked them from the oven and set the tray on the stove top to cool before pushing the second batch into place and resetting the timer. He gently fanned the cookies with a magazine to help them cool faster so he could set them on the nearby plate and set the sheet with what was left of the cookie batter.

Hakyeon heard the door clatter open just as he was pulling the third and final tray out of the oven. He froze for a moment, realizing he was caught preparing his surprise. Huffing, he set the tray down and picked the magazine back up to fan the cookies as best as he could, knowing Taekwoon could already smell them. The warm scent had long since filled the house.

Carefully removing the last few cookies from the tray, Hakyeon heard the sound of his roommate stepping into the kitchen. A few moments later, he was pushing the cookie plate just a little closer to Hakyeon, minimizing the trip the cookies made from tray to the plate. Hakyeon smiled gratefully, setting the spatula down once the last cookie had been set to cool and looked up at Taekwoon.

“I was hoping to surprise you,” he said with a soft laugh.

“I'm surprised,” Taekwoon responded, his heavily lined eyes focused on the plate of cookies intently. A moment later, he reached out with a careful hand towards them, looking at Hakyeon for approval.

“Go ahead,” Hakyeon gestured to the plate before picking one from closer to the bottom for himself. Taekwoon did the same, immediately taking a large bite from it. He chewed it slowly, a sense of bliss in his eyes not going unnoticed by Hakyeon.

Hakyeon took a bite of his own cookie, letting it melt over his tongue just as he knew it would. The chocolate chips were still gooey from the warmth of the oven, and the dough crumbled easily over his tongue, a delicate blend of sweet and savoury. He smiled, watching Taekwoon finish off the first cookie before picking up another.

“Are they good?” Hakyeon asked, grinning at his roommate.

Taekwoon froze, his eyes darting towards Hakyeon with a faint nervousness before his cheeks flushed pale pink beneath his light makeup. Slowly, he nodded his head, making Hakyeon smile a little wider.

“Don't eat too many or you'll spoil your dinner,” Hakyeon teased playfully, gently reaching over to nudge Taekwoon's shoulder with his knuckles.

To his surprise, Taekwoon's lips quirked upwards in a sort of half smile as he brushed Hakyeon's hand away. “What do you want for dinner?” He asked, flicking his fingers to rid himself of the crumbs of his second cookie.

“Ah...” Hakyeon hadn't thought about dinner. He pondered it for a moment with a soft hum before he looked back over at Taekwoon. “I was just going to make some instant noodles before doing my homework.”

Immediately, Taekwoon shook his head. “I will cook. What do you want?”

Hakyeon froze a little, his stomach doing a little flip-flop at the thought of Taekwoon cooking him a meal once more. He felt his ears grow hot, making him turn away in embarrassment. “You don't have to cook for me,” he said slowly, moving towards his cupboards to dig out the instant noodles as he usually did.

“You made cookies to surprise me,” Taekwoon pointed out, making Hakyeon immediately shake his head.

“I made them to say thank you for the curry the other day. It was really good—so thank you.”

Once again, Taekwoon's lips curled slightly in that little smile. Hakyeon felt his ears burn once more. He scratched the back of his neck in hopes that he could hide the blush, even partially.

Taekwoon finally turned away, pulling open the fridge to pick through his side. Hakyeon didn't fail to notice that his side of the fridge was woefully empty compared to his roommates. Perhaps it was a fact that didn't go unnoticed – Hakyeon didn't want to think about it too much.

Despite Hakyeon's protests, Taekwoon began to prepare dinner, using enough ingredients to be cooking for two instead of one. He quickly discovered trying to say anything about it was useless – Taekwoon wanted to cook for him. Sighing, he gave in and perched himself back on the counter, watching Taekwoon work. His long hair was pulled back once more, his dark eyes focused on the food in front of him. Once again, Hakyeon was struck by how domestic Taekwoon looked. He never thought he'd see a man dressed in full black, looking like he'd just stepped off the set of a horror movie he'd played the ghost in, slaving in front of a hot stove. He was once again reminded of the fact that he'd misjudged Taekwoon. He felt a prickle of guilt in his heart.

Trying to still his thoughts, Hakyeon pulled his phone back out as a distraction, pausing when the image of the audition flyer opened once more.

“Hey...Taekwoon?” Hakyeon said softly, flicking his phone off again and resting it face down on his thigh, keeping his palm over it. His roommate didn't look up from his work, but the slightest of nods told Hakyeon he was listening. “If you had a dream you really wanted but you gave up on it a long time ago...and then had another chance to live it, what would you do...?”

Taekwoon paused at that, his posture stilling for the briefest of moments before he carefully continued his cooking. He didn't answer immediately - Hakyeon didn't expect him to if he ever did. He wanted to rush his roommate and get to the bottom of the fears and anxieties that left him second guessing himself again and again. He'd been about to give up on getting an answer when Taekwoon finally responded.

“If you gave up on it...then you have nothing more to lose by trying again,” Taekwoon said softly, slowly. “What dream is it?”

Hakyeon hesitated only a moment before unlocking his phone and showing Taekwoon the photo of the flyer, his lips curling upwards just slightly. “I wanted to be an idol...but everyone rejected me. So...I gave up a long time ago. I was tired of trying my best and getting nothing.” Though Hakyeon was nervous about Taekwoon judging him and telling him to just focus on finding a high-paying job, he still bared the weak part of his soul to his roommate. It made him chew the inside of his lip as he waited for the response that was just as slow to come as the last one.

“It is...difficult,” Taekwoon said slowly, turning off the stove and pulling two plates down from the cupboard. “But it’s worth trying one more time. Even if you don't succeed, at least you can say you did that.”

Hakyeon nodded his head. He wanted to do so much more than try – he wanted to _be_. Hakyeon wanted his name called by adoring fans as he poured his heart into each performance. He wanted Cha Hakyeon to become a name said by thousands. He knew the sacrifices too, of course, but he would trade food for the harsh diets, sleep for the endless schedules...it would be worth it if he could just get on stage and dance to the eyes of people who could enjoy the show.

He was suddenly pulled from his thoughts by a plate being pushed into his hands. He froze for a moment before he remembered Taekwoon had cooked for him. It was lemon chicken stir fried with vegetables. The scent was just as good as the curry had been, and he hardly wanted to walk to the dining table to start eating it.

Grabbing a pair of chopsticks along the way, Hakyeon sat down across from Taekwoon at the table they rarely shared. “Thank you,” Hakyeon said before immediately digging in, finding the meal just as delicious as it smelled.

Taekwoon merely nodded his head to acknowledge the thank you, his mouth already full of his share of the meal. Hakyeon had to try to eat slowly despite his stomach demanding more, wanting to savour each bite. It took a lot of effort to keep from making an audible sound as his mouth watered with each bite.

“Is this your dream?” Hakyeon asked suddenly, his plate half clear of his meal.

Taekwoon looked up, curiosity plain in his gaze, though he didn’t seem to know what Hakyeon meant.

“Cooking,” Hakyeon elaborated, gesturing to the food in front of him. “Is your dream to be a chef?”

Taekwoon went still for a moment, turning his gaze down to his plate before he pushed a piece of chicken in a slow circle. “It’s...a recent one, yes,” he confirmed with a hesitant nod before pushing the chicken into his mouth. Hakyeon couldn’t help but smile. He never thought he’d see Taekwoon get shy like this. It was rather cute.

“Just recent? Did you have other dreams too?” Hakyeon asked, taking another bite of his meal as he observed Taekwoon begin to fidget just a little bit more. He hoped he wasn’t pushing too hard, but Hakyeon found he really wanted his roommate to open up to him – he wanted to know more about him.

“I wanted...to play soccer,” Taekwoon said after an almost uncomfortably long silence.

Hakyeon waited for Taekwoon to say more on the matter, but when he instead pushed another bite of food into his mouth, he had to ask. “Why did you switch?”

“I broke my leg pretty badly,” Taekwoon admitted, his lips thinning slightly. “I couldn’t play for almost a year, and when it finally healed enough that I could walk again, it wasn’t the same. Running...aggravated it. Even now I can’t walk for too long.”

Hakyeon’s food lay forgotten as he listened to the story, too shocked to hear it to even realize it was the most he’d ever heard Taekwoon speak. “That’s horrible...I’m so sorry,” Hakyeon said, his voice weak. He couldn’t imagine breaking his leg and being unable to dance for the rest of his life. The thought of it was...unthinkable.

Taekwoon brushed off the comment with a shake of his head. “It let me focus on cooking instead. Now I...want to open a restaurant someday.”

Hakyeon grinned at that, nodding his head. “I never saw you play soccer, but whatever restaurant you open I’m sure it will be the best. Your food is delicious.”

To his surprise, Taekwoon laughed softly at that, the sound breathy but warm. Hakyeon’s stomach clenched with affection. He wanted to hear that laugh again – perhaps many more times in the future to come.

“Thank you,” Taekwoon said, bowing his head towards his plate again, possibly to hide the blush Hakyeon could see tinting his ears. He had to resist the urge to reach over and tousle his dark hair playfully. “I hope...you can get yours too. Your dream, I mean.”

Hakyeon smiled softly, turning his gaze down towards his plate. “I'm going to try,” he said quietly. “Maybe I won't make it, and I'm not sure if I expect to but...one more try couldn't hurt.”

Taekwoon shook his head. “No...it can't. What will you audition with?”

“A dance,” Hakyeon replied, his toes curling into the carpet beneath his feet slightly when Taekwoon's eyes widened slightly in interest. “It's all I’ve ever wanted to do.”

Taekwoon nodded his head, poking at his food a little, his lower lip pulled slightly between his teeth. Hakyeon watched quietly, wondering if there were some words he was holding back. He took another bite of his meal, waiting to see if Taekwoon would speak again. When he didn't, Hakyeon chose to speak up once more instead.

“I can show you sometime if you'd like,” he said, wondering if Taekwoon was interested in seeing him dance.

His thoughts were assumed correct when Taekwoon lifted his head and nodded perhaps a little too fast. His cheeks flushed crimson a moment later just before he hid his face once more, pushing a few more bites of food into his mouth.

“You can be my critic,” Hakyeon said, nudging Taekwoon's leg under the table with his foot without thinking about it. “I will show you my dance, and then you tell me what needs improvement before the audition. How about that?”

It took Taekwoon just a little longer to nod again, staying quiet as he swallowed his food. “I wouldn't know how to critique you though...I don't know anything about dancing.”

“Just tell me what looks weird and I can fix it in front of a mirror,” Hakyeon replied with a wave of his hand, excitement bubbling up inside him. He hadn't had a friend to help him prepare for an audition before. His parents offered him little encouragement, and he'd been too shy to ask his friends from school. “No pressure though. I don't plan on making any mistakes.” Hakyeon grinned at that, the excitement spurring on his confidence.

Taekwoon's lips curled upwards into another smile, this one a little wider than the last one Hakyeon had seen. “Then don't make any,” he said plainly before finishing off the last of the food on his plate and rising to his feet.

“I won't,” Hakyeon said confidently, grinning before eating the last bite off his own plate. He picked up the dish and followed Taekwoon into the kitchen, dropping the dirty dishes into the washer before pushing it closed. “I can clean up for you, since you cooked.”

Taekwoon immediately shook his head, tossing Hakyeon the dish towel. “I wash, you dry,” he said before turning on the tap.

Hakyeon smiled, nodding his head before moving to stand beside the sink, a soft warmth in his heart. Despite the fact that he'd been sure he and Taekwoon would never be friends, they still managed to find a way.

Taekwoon was silent again as he scrubbed the pots and pans he’d used in the sink, handing them one by one to Hakyeon to dry. Hakyeon didn’t press him to speak either. If there was one thing he’d come to understand with the little time they’d spent together, it was that Taekwoon wasn’t hostile – or even closed off. He was simply quiet, and that was something Hakyeon could live with.


	3. Chapter 3

The date of the audition was circled in heavy red pen on the calendar that hung beside Hakyeon's bed. Every morning, he woke to the sight of the looming schedule and crossed another X through yesterday's date, counting down the days until he would make another attempt at his distant dream.

Hakyeon had taken in his application the day after his conversation with Taekwoon. He'd made extra sure he was on the list despite the nervous part of him wanting him to back out right away. His heart had raced when he'd received his audition ticket. He would exchange it for his number when the time came, but for now he kept it tacked to the wall over his desk as a reminder of what he was working towards. The placement of it made it difficult to focus on his never ending school work, but he forced himself to slog through it, reminding himself that good marks were just as important as the audition. It was unlucky though. His college workload choked off the vast majority of his excitement and took away valuable rehearsal time. It normally took Hakyeon three days with six, two hour long sessions to nail down the basic motions of a choreography set. It took him nearly a week with his tight schedule. Weekends were spent locked up in his bedroom, his body whipping between each dance move when he didn't need to sit down to finish his homework. Weekdays were spent seated in a school chair, his muscles itching to move to the melody that had ingrained itself in his mind. The only time he could practice on school days was at night before he went to bed, his headphones in as he tried not to disturb Taekwoon. He rarely was able to practice more than an hour before he was collapsing into bed, towelling the sweat off his face and neck with a damp cloth. Just before he fell asleep, he grimly thought that if anything was going to take him down at this audition, it was the lack of preparation.

Taekwoon turned out to be incredibly supportive. Not only had he originally encouraged Hakyeon to do the audition, he also made sure he was eating. Hakyeon would come home from school to a plate of food waiting for him in the fridge with a small note perched on top, often with a few encouraging words written on it. The gestures made Hakyeon genuinely happy, and he would eat the meal before getting in the much needed practice. If it hadn't been for Taekwoon, he didn't think he'd even have the energy to keep going. One thing was for certain, if he passed the audition, he would owe Taekwoon all the cookies he could make.

Exactly two weeks before the audition, Hakyeon collapsed onto the couch beside his roommate with a heavy sigh, his bangs still stuck to his forehead from the sweat. His tired eyes focused on the television which was rattling off the evening news - something about the weather, Hakyeon didn't care. He was nearly out of breath from four straight hours of practice. They had most definitely been needed.

“Is it going well...?” Taekwoon asked quietly, almost sounding as though it had taken a lot of effort to be the one to speak first. Hakyeon was grateful for it. He felt too tired to string more than three words together at the moment, especially if he had to come up with an interesting conversation starter.

“Yeah,” Hakyeon breathed out in a heavy sigh. “I think. I hope.”

“You think?” Taekwoon's tone sounded just a little sceptical.

“Shh...” Hakyeon closed his eyes, letting his head fall back onto the couch. “Too tired...”

Taekwoon's soft, breathy laugh met his ears at that. Hakyeon's lips curled into a soft smile, the sound making him feel rather peaceful. He could understand the amusement, however. Hakyeon's exhaustion led to him being rather quiet - quieter than Taekwoon had probably ever seen him. Hakyeon might've laughed too, but his body felt too much like jelly to do anything other than slowly drift off, the drone of the television an annoying but effective lullaby.

 

...

 

Hakyeon woke up the next morning in his own bed. At first, he was confused - because he distinctly remembered falling asleep on the couch the night before. Taking a slow breath inward, he groaned as he rolled over, his muscles protesting the mere concept of moving. He squinted accusingly at his bedroom, wondering if sitting on the couch had just been some tired dream spawned by his exhausted body.

It hadn't been though. Hakyeon was still in the clothes he'd been wearing the night before - and he felt rather awful for it too. His still half asleep mind darted to Taekwoon, and his stomach leapt into his throat as he realized how he'd gotten into his bed last night. Taekwoon had carried him upstairs. The memory was faint and dream like, but he could just grasp the feeling of being lifted and carried up the stairs and tucked into bed. His face burned crimson as he groaned, pressing his face into his soft, violet pillows. Taekwoon had seen his room - he'd probably seen the fairies, and he'd definitely seen the purple bed sheets. He could've cried with embarrassment if he hadn't already been so surprised by Taekwoon's gesture. He could've just woke him up and told him to go to bed, but instead he'd carried him - dead weight and asleep - up to his bedroom. Hakyeon thought he knew everything there was to know about his roommate, but perhaps Taekwoon was far more complex than he ever could've imagined.

Climbing out of bed and taking a quick shower before changing into fresh clothes, Hakyeon padded down the stairs to find Taekwoon in the kitchen, as was becoming rather normal. The distinct smell of vanilla nearly made Hakyeon groan with hunger, his stomach gurgling in a noisy manner. He stepped into the kitchen, catching Taekwoon's attention immediately. He turned, his eyes - lined with makeup despite the early hour - focused on him for a mere moment before turning back to what he was cooking. A quick peek over his shoulder told Hakyeon it was pancakes.

“Those smell good,” Hakyeon said, leaning against the counter to watch. “Do I get some?” He didn't ask for the sake of being greedy - in truth, he'd become rather accustomed to Taekwoon cooking and handing him half of the product. Perhaps it wasn't the best thing in the world to expect food from his roommate, but now that Hakyeon considered him a friend, he didn't feel even remotely shy about asking for it.

Glancing at him, Taekwoon nodded his head. “You didn't eat dinner,” he said quietly before flipping the pancakes over, the batter cooked to a stunning golden brown colour. They looked like miniature suns on the black backdrop of the frying pan.

“I fell asleep before I could,” Hakyeon said with a little laugh, grabbing a plate from the cupboard to set on the table beside Taekwoon so he had a surface to put the finished cakes on. “Sorry about that.”

Once again, Taekwoon shook his head, brushing off the apology. Hakyeon couldn't help but smile. Perhaps it really didn't matter at all. He wanted to ask about being carried up to bed, but at the thought of it, heat pooled in his cheeks. Perhaps it was better to let that lie for the time being.

“Did you sleep well...?” Taekwoon asked, carefully setting the pancakes onto the plate and lifting the pan to let it cool for a few moments off the heat.

Hakyeon nodded his head. “I did, thank you. After four hours of practice I think anyone would.”

“Have you improved?” Taekwoon dropped another dollop of butter into the frying pan, the sharp sizzle filling the kitchen before he spooned more batter into the frying pan.

“I think so.” Hakyeon scratched at a stray instant noodle stuck to the counter, picking it off and wrinkling his nose before dropping it in the trash. He washed his hands immediately afterwards. “I can show you a little later. It's Sunday, right?”

Taekwoon nodded his head, his eyes focused on the pancakes slowly starting to bubble in front of him. Hakyeon watched to see when he chose to flip them. He loved pancakes, but he often had a bad habit of flipping them before he should. It usually resulted in his pancakes becoming a gooey mess of uncooked batter in an unidentifiable oblong shape. It was safe to say that despite the word ‘cake’ in ‘pancake’, Hakyeon was incapable of making them. But Taekwoon knew exactly when to flip them, the colour coming out just as golden as the first ones had.

“You should teach me sometime,” Hakyeon said without thinking about it, immediately biting his tongue after saying it.

“What?” Taekwoon asked, looking over at him for just a moment.

“How to cook,” Hakyeon said, deciding to go along with it. “I'm really bad at it. I can buy ingredients if you'll help. That way you won't have to cook for me all the time.”

Taekwoon's lips quirked into a slight smile, his expression suggesting he was amused by Hakyeon's request. “Focus on your audition,” he said before he turned back to the stove, removing the pancakes from the pan. “I’ll teach you when the audition is over,”

Hakyeon nodded his head, knowing Taekwoon was right. He couldn't help but smile, his cheeks flushing pale pink as butterflies made his insides tremble. As sad as it was, it had been a long time since he'd felt truly cared for. It wasn't that his parents hadn't given him enough attention, Hakyeon did indeed feel loved, but it was a different kind than what Taekwoon was showing him now. He couldn't remember a time his parents carried him to bed and he certainly hadn't been given any sort of encouragement when it came to auditions.

Without realizing it, Hakyeon pressed his cheek on Taekwoon’s shoulder, leaning slightly against him as he watched the final batch of pancakes cook in the pan. His heart skipped a beat for a moment, realizing Taekwoon seemed to be making no effort to move away despite the slight tension in his shoulder. Hakyeon couldn't help but close his eyes, taking a slow breath inward. The soft, minty fragrance that always permeated the shared bathroom after Taekwoon showered lingered in less concentrated amounts on his clothes.

“Can you get the strawberries out of the fridge?” Taekwoon’s voice said suddenly, startling Hakyeon enough to make him jump off his shoulder. Flushing crimson, Hakyeon let out a rather high pitched hum of affirmation before reaching into the fridge to pull out a container of bright red strawberries. He set them on the counter beside Taekwoon and took a step back, watching him remove the last of the pancakes from the pan.

“I’ll...set the table,” Hakyeon said with a quick nod before digging into the cutlery drawer for forks and knives before retreating from the kitchen. He felt embarrassed and incredibly foolish. Though physical affection was normal for him, it probably wasn’t for Taekwoon.

Hakyeon jumped a little at the sound of one of the plates tapping against the wooden table. He smiled weakly at Taekwoon, taking the other one from his hands and sitting down across from his roommate. The pancakes were beautiful. They glistened with a little bit of syrup and a few dollops of whipped cream decorated the plate, a single strawberry placed at the center of each one. Hakyeon loved strawberries. Some part of his mind wondered if Taekwoon had known that.

"Thank you," Hakyeon said softly before digging in.

Taekwoon nodded his head, not saying a word as he too focused on his breakfast. Despite how good the pancakes were, Hakyeon couldn't quite taste the sweetness through the bitter sadness that he'd destroyed everything that had existed between them.

 

...

 

With the audition a week away, Hakyeon's stress levels nearly tripled. He was harder on himself, criticizing even a single misstep and forcing himself to do it twenty more times until he would never mess up again. Dancing stole his life once more, just as it had before he'd given up on his dream.

Despite knowing he'd regret it later, he skipped out on rewriting his notes and studying in favour of perfecting his dance. His body flowed like water over a stone as he tried to tell the song's story, losing himself in notes and rhythms and succumbing to the addicting feeling of moving his body in exactly the right way. Taekwoon continued to leave food for him, but Hakyeon found he was less hungry than before. Food seemed unimportant compared to how badly he needed to transform into a soaring eagle at the uplift. He could only manage a few bites before he was back to dancing, repeating each step until his legs were trembling too much to go on. When he collapsed into bed, he would sleep peacefully until morning unless a nightmare about the audition woke him and prompted him to dance once more. The thought of making a mistake was too much to bear.

He found himself distancing himself from Taekwoon once more, though this time the separation was less noticeable, his thoughts occupied by the constant need to dance. He refused to think about the morning when they'd eaten the pancakes in silence and pretended he didn't think about how strong Taekwoon's shoulder felt against his cheek. He denied the mere thought that there was a possibility he had a crush on his roommate and a craving to get closer. It will ruin everything, he told himself when he quietly played with the idea of sharing a warm, comfortable hug with Taekwoon; one they both enjoyed while it lasted. It was a foolish notion, and Hakyeon pushed it from his thoughts before it could take root. Even so, in the moments before he drifted off to sleep at night, he thought of Taekwoon and wondered if he missed him.

Hakyeon woke suddenly on the morning of his audition, wide awake just a few seconds before his alarm went off. It took three tries to switch off the alarm, his fingers trembling enough that he missed the button several times. Normally he would’ve pressed snooze to get a few more minutes of sleep, but instead he slid out of bed. Hakyeon had known the nerves would be bad on the day of, but he didn’t expect the nausea that came with the butterflies flip flopping through his stomach. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine they were fairies wishing him luck instead of nervous butterflies.

He showered mechanically and took his time making sure his hair at least looked good for the show. He grimaced at the few acne spots on his face and wished he at least had makeup to cover it up.

 _Taekwoon has makeup_ , the little voice at the back of his mind said.  Despite everything, Hakyeon laughed, shaking his head. Even if Taekwoon had makeup, it certainly wouldn’t match his skin tone. No makeup on the shelves in Korea matched his skin tone. For a fleeting moment, he wondered if it would help or hinder his chances to borrow Taekwoon’s ghostly white makeup to cover up his dark skin. He shook the thought away immediately.

“This is me,” Hakyeon said confidently to his reflection in the mirror. “They can take it or leave it.” He ignored the fact that the words had brought him slight hesitation. He adjusted his fringe to hide one of the more vivid acne spots on his forehead, repeating the phrase a few more times until even the fairies in his stomach started to believe it. He took a breath and nodded his head. It would have to do. Besides, if he wowed them with his dance, his appearance would be less important. But he wasn’t ugly, Hakyeon reminded himself with a tiny smirk. He was just fine.

The sun was just beginning to rise when Hakyeon left the house. Despite not being hungry, he scarfed down a muffin Taekwoon had left for him on the counter the night before with a little good luck note. He carried the note in his pocket, keeping one hand on it at all times, trying to take strength from it. The audition was halfway across Seoul, and performances started at noon. Hakyeon wanted to make sure he got there early, not wanting to get a later number and spend the day sitting around. Late numbers increased the chances of there not being any spaces left for him in the trainee systems. He picked up his pace a little.

Despite the early hour, there was a line when Hakyeon arrived to the audition building. He received a number, one hundred and seventy six, and pinned it to the front of his shirt. He began to wish he’d had more time to rehearse. He put in his headphones to make sure he at least knew his dance cues. He shut his music player off in the middle of the third play of the song, finding listening to it stressed him out more than it helped him.

The auditions began right on time, nervous hopefuls disappearing through a door never to return. Hakyeon tried not to look at the performers who remained, his eyes always finding gorgeously attractive males. Whenever he looked, he felt inferior despite the pep talk he’d given himself earlier that morning. He felt ugly and short, unimpressive and not sexy. Hakyeon hugged his middle, swallowing nervously as the numbers crept above one hundred alarmingly fast. He closed his eyes and prayed the fairies fluttering in his stomach would give him the strength he needed to succeed.

 _You can do this,_ he told himself as a particularly large fairy did a backflip in his stomach, nearly making him dizzy. Everything would be just fine...

 

...

 

The front door clattered shut with a nose that would’ve woken the dead. Hakyeon flinched slightly before turning the lock and kicking off his shoes. The house was silent, and for a fleeting moment, Hakyeon thought maybe Taekwoon was out. He felt a surge of disappointed relief. If Taekwoon was in his room, Hakyeon could just sneak by and crawl into bed like he desperately wanted to.

But no sooner than Hakyeon had stepped over the threshold, Taekwoon was there, sitting up and off the couch where he’d been lying. He tossed a book down onto the cushions, and Hakyeon’s heart leapt slightly when he realized Taekwoon had more than likely been waiting for him. He felt his eyes start to burn with tears.

“How did it go...?” Taekwoon asked, real tension in his voice, genuine curiosity – Hakyeon felt his throat close up and his lips curled into a little smile as he let out a laugh, a few tears dripping down his cheeks before he could stop them. Despite the ache in his chest, he felt a quiet joy that Taekwoon at least cared. His parents had never given him such a luxury.

“They said I wasn’t what they were looking for,” Hakyeon said, bringing up his hand to wipe the tears off his cheek, feeling apologetic for the fact that he was crying in front of his roommate. “It’s—It’s okay, I’m okay I promise.”

Taekwoon’s gaze told Hakyeon he didn’t quite believe him, but he nodded and smiled. “Did you try your best?”

Wiping his eyes dry properly this time, Hakyeon nodded his head, humming his affirmation. “I didn’t make any mistakes...” _But you still weren’t what they were looking for,_ the dark part of his mind whispered. He thought over the performance a little longer, wondering exactly where he’d gone wrong. He couldn’t find anything he wasn’t certain he’d done well on. Why was he still not good enough?

He didn’t realize he was crying again until Taekwoon held out several tissues for him. He took them with a quiet sigh and dabbed his eyes with them once more. “What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing,” Taekwoon responded calmly. He stood still for a moment before he reached out with a careful hand and tugged Hakyeon closer to himself.

For a moment, Hakyeon tensed in shock, feeling Taekwoon’s warm arms wrap around his back. The tears stopped, replaced by the now familiar dancing fairies, though these ones were more of the warm and comfortable kind. Hakyeon felt his skin tingle as he rested his cheek on Taekwoon’s shoulder and returned the hug, pressing himself a little closer. The soft, minty smell he’d discovered the last time he’d gotten close to Taekwoon surrounded him, and Hakyeon felt safe. He closed his eyes.

“Thank you...” Hakyeon whispered. He couldn’t deny he’d been disappointed by the results of his audition, but Taekwoon’s care had wrapped a cozy, warm bandage around his fractured heart. Unable to resist, he gave Taekwoon an affectionate squeeze, hearing his roommate grunt a little at the unexpected gesture. Hakyeon laughed softly, a little more warmth chasing away the sadness. Even though Taekwoon was closed off, he gave incredibly comfortable hugs.

“I never showed you my dance,” Hakyeon said, breaking off the hug when he realized it. He had fully intended to, but it had completely slipped his mind.

“Ah...” Taekwoon said with a little bit of surprise as he pulled his hands back to his sides and stuffed them into the pockets of his sweat pants. Apparently he’d forgotten as well. “You didn’t...”

“Go sit down,” Hakyeon encouraged, pushing Taekwoon not too gently towards the couch. He would dance in the middle of the living room. “I will show you now.”

Taekwoon nodded slowly, getting comfortable on the couch and focusing his eyes on Hakyeon. The nerves returned, just as badly as they had before the audition. Though Taekwoon wasn’t a judge, he still felt probed, though maybe not to the degree he’d been at the audition. Hakyeon found he just wanted Taekwoon’s approval – hearing it would wipe the judges’ remarks from his mind forever.

Plugging his music player into the external speakers that sat in the living room, Hakyeon played his song, falling into step the moment the music started. He flowed like water over a rock; like wind through the leaves on the trees. He soared like an eagle and fell like a raindrop with every dip and swell in the music. His body moved exactly how he wanted it to, and he didn’t dare look at Taekwoon until the last notes played and he struck his final pose. Truthfully, he was frightened of what he might find there.

His worries were needless, as Taekwoon had leaned forward in his seat, his eyes slightly misted over until he realized the performance was over. He closed his slightly parted lips and leaned back in his seat, catching Hakyeon’s eye and nodding his head, his lips curling into a smile.

“Did you like it...?” Hakyeon asked, just wanting to hear it. He’d already seen it in Taekwoon’s expression, but he needed the words too.

Again, Taekwoon nodded his head, silent for a few moments longer. “They made a mistake. They should’ve said yes.”

The words were simple, but it was all of the reassurance Hakyeon needed. He let out a laugh and fell onto the couch beside Taekwoon, not hesitating to pull him into another hug, this one extra tight.

“Thank you,” Hakyeon said breathlessly, ignoring the tiny whine that slipped from Taekwoon’s throat at the tight squeeze. He found it rather cute if he was being honest. “I’m really glad you liked it...”

“You’re a good dancer—” Taekwoon grunted, managing to catch Hakyeon’s wrists to loosen his hold just a little before exhaling in relief. “Don’t crush my ribs.”

“Sorry,” Hakyeon said with a grin. He loosened his grip on Taekwoon but didn’t completely let go, resting his head on one of his broad shoulders. Some part of him worried he might not ever get the chance to be physically close to Taekwoon again, and he wanted to savour every moment.

“I was going to make curry for dinner,” Taekwoon said after he’d gotten comfortable again. “I will show you how to make it.”

“Okay,” Hakyeon said with a nod, quite happy Taekwoon had remembered his promise to teach him. “But I don’t feel like standing right now, so I will sit here a bit longer.”

For a moment, Hakyeon worried he was making Taekwoon uncomfortable. The tension in his shoulders was easy for him to feel, and his body was stiff as a board where Hakyeon’s arms snaked around his waist. But after a moment, Taekwoon nodded and relaxed once again, making him smile in warm triumph. Closing his eyes, Hakyeon breathed the delicate, minty scent he was definitely growing to love.


End file.
